From Gringo to Monkey

So with Spaghetti O off to Miami I was on my lonesome again. In Ipiales we'd heard someone call out 'mona/s' which is the female version of a monkey (mono). At the time the taxi driver told us that's what they use here for us/blondes. Not quite sure exactly how it works yet. 

Depending on who you ask it seems that gringo/gringa is reserved for yanks. But I've been called that enough times in South America to know that they don't care to identify your nationality first. 

Anyway so now I'm in Colombia, apparently I'm a mona (and for all you non Spanish speakers it's not like Craig Mclachan's 'Hey Mona' it's more like the 'mon' from Monica). Anyway not wanting to get too sidetracked we actually met a Craig McLachlan lookalike in Ecuador. Not even joking. I cracked out a photo of Craig's image from the 80's to show all the Ecuadorians plus the Venezuelan Craig himself. It was unanimously agreed that they were in fact twins.  

So back to my new name. This is not something that people say behind your back. It's to your face, as if it's your name. I have been hearing it several times a day and I can't help but be offended. The Colombians tell me it's said with 'cariñoso' or affection but I can tell you when some Colombian woman is shoving magical medicinal herbs in your face that you clearly have no intention of purchasing while screaming 'mona, mona!', well let's just say I'm not feeling the love. Don't even get me started on the lack of blonde monkeys in this world. No one I've asked can explain it to me. Just, that's how it is.

Anyway, my real name it turns out it super popular here. In English it's a bit more like Lora but here it's more like Lau-rah. Oh and I've always liked my name since you can't really shorten it or make up nicknames. Well guess what, you can here. They add a diminutive to everything. 

Dog = Perro, doggie = perrito

They don't even have a word for kitten since they just use gatito (don't get me started, this language is missing a lot of words I require. Fussy for example. Cheeky too. I can't find words for those).

Anyway they also use it to make things more polite or just cutesy.

The bill from a restaurant  = cuenta

Nice way to ask for the bill = cuentita por favor 

I could go on for days. Dolars = dolaritos. They use it for absolutely everything and often it sounds absurd! But who am I to judge. 

Anyway so my name...well it's so popular it's used in Coke advertising.

 

And the nickname. Which people often feel like they can call me after knowing me roughly 20 seconds is Laurita. Yes I hate it. Observe.

Anyway that's all for now. I'll be back with more soon. I'm off to a music festival this arvo! Colombian Breakfest! Hola Marika! :)